Low Sex Drive? Painful Sex? A Sex Counselor Can Help
Talking about your sex life with a stranger may sound difficult, but it could be exactly what you need to overcome intimacy problems and improve your sexual health. Ellen Byars, MSN, BSN, WHNP-BC, a certified sex counselor at Duke Health, offers comprehensive sex counseling to women. As an expert in sexual health, she can help you increase your sex drive, reduce pain during sex, and overcome arousal problems, including helping you achieve an orgasm. Here, she explains what a sex counselor is and what to expect during an intimate health visit.
What is a sex counselor?
A sex or sexuality counselor is a health professional with extra training in sexuality from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). They offer a private and supportive space to discuss your sexual health problems, and focus on immediate, action-based solutions.
When should I see a sex counselor?
Schedule a visit with a sex counselor if you experience concerns that affect your sex life and want to improve your sexual experience. Common reasons to see a sex counselor include:
- Low libido or disinterest in sex
- Pain during sexual activities
- Arousal problems
- Problems achieving orgasm
- Vaginal dryness
What will happen during my initial visit?
During your initial visit, which usually lasts about 40 minutes, your sex counselor will meet with you to ask about your sexual health concerns, review your medical history, and gather your sexual history. “The first visit is used mostly for talking,” said Byars.
If your concern is physical in nature, an initial visit may include a physical exam. For example, if your concern is pain, a pelvic exam may be recommended. Labs or imaging may also be recommended. The need for follow-up appointments will depend on your concern.
What treatments can I expect to receive from a sex counselor?
Your sexuality counselor will provide a personalized care plan to address your sexual concerns. Your care plan may include physical exercises, medications, behavioral recommendations for you and or your partner, and physical tools like vibrators. Byars also provides in-depth education on different aspects of sexuality, your anatomy, and relaxation techniques. “There has to be a willingness to be flexible and try some new things, especially as we age and our bodies change,” said Byars.
Your treatment will vary based on your concern. For instance, if your low libido is affected by menopause, medication may be recommended. If low libido is due to painful sex, your treatment could include vaginal estrogen or lubricants. Byars often recommends multiple methods to treat one problem.
What don't sex counselors treat?
Sometimes the cause of your sexual concern requires care beyond at-home exercises and tools. In that case, Byars will refer you to a specialized provider. For instance, if your pain is from pelvic floor dysfunction, she may refer you to a pelvic floor physical therapist. If your sexual concerns stem from previous trauma or other psychological aspects, she may refer you to a sex therapist -- a mental health professional that focuses on the psychological causes of sexual dysfunction. Sex therapy usually requires more sessions and takes place over a longer period of time.
Do I need a doctor’s referral to schedule an intimate health visit with a sex counselor?
No. You can schedule an intimate health visit without a doctor’s referral. Appointments are available at Duke Women's Health Associates Arringdon or Durham Obstetrics and Gynecology (OB-GYN) South Durham.
